a一ve you told him?”
“Not in so many words.” I shrug apologetically.
“Ana! Someone has to make the first move, otherwise you’ll never get anywhere.”
What… tell him how I feel?
“I’m just afraid I’ll frighten him away.”
“And how do you know he’s not feeling the same?”
“Christian, afraid? I can’t imagine him being frightened of anything.” But as I say the words, I imagine him as a small child. Maybe fear was all he knew then. Sorrow grips and squeezes my heart at the thought.
Kate gazes at me with pursed lips and narrowed eyes, rather like my subconscious – all she needs is the half-moon specs.
“You two need to sit down and talk to each other.”
“We ha一ven’t been doing much talking lately.” I flush. Other stuff. Non-verbal communication and that’s okay. Well, much more than okay.
She grins.
“That’ll be the sexing! If that’s going well, then that’s half the battle Ana. I’ll grab some Chinese take-out. Are you ready to go?”
“I will be – we don’t ha一ve to lea一ve for a couple of hours or so.”
“No – I’ll see you in twenty.” She grabs her jacket and lea一ves, forgetting to close the door. I shut it behind her and head off to my bedroom mulling over her words.
Is Christian afraid of his feelings for me? Does he even ha一ve feelings for me? He seems very keen, says I’m his – but that’s just part of his I-must-own-and-ha一ve-everything-now – control-freak dominant self, surely. I realize that while I’m away, I will ha一ve to run through all our conversations again and see if I can pick out telltale signs.
I’ll miss you too… more than you know...
You’ve completely beguiled me…
I shake my head. I don’t want to think about it now. I am charging the BlackBerry, so I ha一ven’t had it with me all afternoon. I approach it with caution, and I’m disappointed that there are no messages. I switch on the mean machine, and there are no messages there either. Same email address Ana – my subconscious rolls her eyes at me, and for the first time, I understand why Christian wants to spank me when I do
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