a swipe of my finger, the icons shift, and several
new ones appear on the next screen. A Kindle app,
iBooks, Words—whatever that is.
Holy shit! The British Library? I touch the icon and a
menu appears: HISTORICAL COLLECTION. Scrolling down,
I select NOVELS OF THE 18TH AND 19TH CENTURY.
Another menu. I tap on a title: THE AMERICAN BY HENRY
JAMES. A new window opens, offering me a scanned
copy of the book to read. Holy crap—it’s an early edition,
published in 1879, and it’s on my iPad! He’s bought me
the British Library at a touch of a button.
I exit quickly, knowing that I could be lost in this app
for an eternity. I notice a “good food” app that makes me
roll my eyes and smile at the same time, a news app, a
weather app, but his note mentioned music. I go back to
the main screen, hit the iPod icon and a playlist appears. I
scroll through the songs, and the list makes me smile.
Thomas Tallis—I’m not going to forget that in a hurry. I
heard it twice, after all, while he flogged and fucked me.
“Witchcraft.” My grin gets wider—dancing round the
great room. The Bach Marcello piece—oh no, that’s way
too sad for my mood right now. Hmm. Jeff Buckley
—yeah, I’ve heard of him. Snow Patrol—my fa一vorite
—yeah, I’ve heard of him. Snow Patrol—my fa一vorite
band—and a song called “Principles of Lust” by Enigma.
How Christian. I smirk. Another called “Possession” . . .
oh yes, very Fifty Shades. And a few more I ha一ve never
heard.
Selecting a song that catches my eye, I press play. It’s
called “Try” by Nellie Furtado. She starts to sing, and her
voice is a silken scarf wrapping around me, enveloping me.
I lie down on my bed.
Does this mean Christian’s going to try? Try this new
relationship? I drink in the lyrics, staring at the ceiling,
trying to understand his turnaround. He missed me. I
missed him. He must ha一ve some feelings for me. He must.
This iPad, these songs, these apps—he cares. He really
cares. My heart swells with hope.
The song ends and tears spring to my eyes. I quick
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