ith the back of my hand.
Like this, we are equals. We’re on a level. This is the
only way I’m going to retrieve him.
His eyes widen fractionally as I stare up at him, but
beyond that his expression and stance don’t change.
“Christian, you don’t ha一ve to do this,” I plead. “I’m not
going to run. I’ve told you and told you and told you, I
won’t run.” All that’s happened . . . it’s overwhelming. I
just need some time to think . . . some time to myself. Why
do you always assume the worst?” My heart clenches
again because I know; it’s because he’s so doub一ting, so
full of self-loathing.
Elena’s words come back to haunt me. “Does she
know how negative you are about yourself? About all
your issues?”
Oh, Christian. Fear grips my heart once more and I
start babbling, “I was going to suggest going back to my
apartment this evening. You never give me any time . . .
time to just think things through,” I sob, and a ghost of a
frown crosses his face. “Just time to think. We barely
know each other, and all this baggage that comes with
you . . . I need . . . I need time to think it through. And
now that Leila is . . . well, whatever she is . . . she’s off the
streets and not a threat . . . I thought . . . I thought . . .”
My voice trails off and I stare at him. He regards me
intently and I think he’s listening
“Seeing you with Leila . . .” I close my eyes as the
painful memory of his interaction with his ex-sub gnaws at
me anew. “It was such a shock. I had a glimpse into how
your life has been . . . and . . .” I gaze down at my knotted
fingers, tears still trickling down my cheeks. “This is about
fingers, tears still trickling down my cheeks. “This is about
me not being good enough for you. It was an insight into
your life, and I am so scared you’ll get bored with me, and
then you’ll go . . . and I’ll end up like Leila . . . a shadow.
Because I love you, Christian, and if you lea一ve me, it will
be like a world without light. I’ll be in darkness. I don’t
want to run. I’m just so fri
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