ke you look at the
world in a different light.”
“She finally got the message . . . and so did I . . . I hurt Ana,” he whispers.
“We always hurt the ones we love, darling. You’ll ha一ve to tell her you’re sorry.
And mean it and give her time.”
“She said she was lea一ving me.”
No. No. No!
“Did you believe her?”
“At first, yes.”
“Darling, you always believe the worst of everyone, including yourself. You
always ha一ve. Ana loves you very much, and it’s obvious 430 | P a g e
E L JAMES
you love her.”
“She was mad at me.”
“I’m sure she was. I’m pretty mad at you right now. I think you can only be truly
mad at someone you really love.”
“I thought about it, and she’s shown me over and over how much she loves
me . . . to the point of putting her own life in danger.”
“Yes, she has. Oh, Mom, why won’t she wake up?” His voice cracks. “I nearly
lost her.”
Christian! There are muffled sobs. No . . . Oh . . . the darkness closes in. No
—
“It’s taken twenty-four years for you to let me hold you like this . . ”
“I know, Mom . . . I’m glad we talked.”
“Me too, darling. I’m always here. I can’t believe I’m going to be a
grandmother.”
Grandma!
Sweet oblivion beckons.
Hmm. His stubble softly scrapes the back of my hand as he squeezes my
fingers.
“Oh, baby, please come back to me. I’m sorry. Sorry for everything. Just
wake up. I miss you. I love you . . .”
I try. I try. I want to see him. But my body disobeys me, and I fall asleep once
more.
I ha一ve a pressing need to pee. I open my eyes. I’m in the clean, sterile
environment of a hospital room. It’s dark except for a sidelight, and all is
quiet. My head and my chest aches, but more than that, my bladder is
bursting. I need to pee. I test my limbs. My right arm smarts, and I notice the
IV attached to it on the inside of my elbow. I shut my eyes quickly. Turning my
head—I’m pleased that it responds to my will—I open my eyes again.
Christian is asleep, sitting beside me and leaning on my bed with his head
on his folded arms. I reach out, grate
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