, and that is all. Unmarried to him, this would never grieve me; but can I let him complete his calculations- coolly put into practice his plans- go through the wedding ceremony?
Can I receive from him the bridal ring, endure all the forms of love (which I doubt not he would scrupulously observe) and know that the spirit was quite absent? Can I bear the consciousness that every endearment he bestows is a sacrifice made on principle? No: such a martyrdom would be monstrous. I will never undergo it. As his sister, I might accompany him- not as his wife: I will tell him so.'
I looked towards the knoll: there he lay, still as a prostrate column; his face turned to me: his eye beaming watchful and keen. He started to his feet and approached me.
'I am ready to go to India, if I may go free.'
'Your answer requires a commentary,' he said; 'it is not clear.'
'You have hitherto been my adopted brother- I, your adopted sister: let us continue as such: you and I had better not marry.'
He shook his head. 'Adopted fraternity will not do in this case. If you were my real sister it would be different: I should take you, and seek no wife. But as it is, either our union must be consecrated and sealed by marriage, or it cannot exist: practical obstacles oppose themselves to any other plan. Do you not see it, Jane? Consider a moment- your strong sense will guide you.'
I did consider; and still my sense, such as it was, directed me only to the fact that we did not love each other as man and wife should: and therefore it inferred we ought not to marry. I said so.
'St. John,' I returned, 'I regard you as a brother- you, me as a sister: so let us continue.'
'We cannot- we cannot,' he answered, with short, sharp determination: 'it would not do. You have said you will go with me to India: remember- you have said that.'
'Conditionally.'
'Well- well. To the main point- the departure with me from England, the co-operation with me in my future labours- you do not object.
You have already as good
本章未完，点击下一页继续阅读。