esperate to be rid of it.
My world stops. Oh no.
This is not what I expected. This is bad. Really bad. I
gaze at him, trying to understand the implication of what
he’s just said. It does explain why we all look the same.
My immediate thought is that Leila was right—“Master
is dark.”
I recall the first conversation I had with him about his
tendencies when we were in the Red Room of Pain.
“You said you weren’t a sadist,” I whisper,
desperately trying to understand . . . make some excuse
for him.
“No, I said I was a Dominant. If I lied to you, it was a
lie of omission. I’m sorry.” He looks briefly down at his
manicured fingernails.
I think he’s mortified. Mortified about lying to me? Or
about what he is?
“When you asked me that question, I had envisioned a
very different relationship between us,” he murmurs. I can
tell by his gaze that he’s terrified.
Then it hits me like a wrecking ball. If he’s a sadist, he
really needs all that whipping and caning shit. Oh fuck. I
put my head in my hands.
“So it’s true,” I whisper, glancing up at him. “I can’t
give you what you need.” This is it—this really does mean
we are incompatible.
we are incompatible.
The world starts falling away at my feet, collapsing
around me as panic grips my throat. This is it. We can’t do
this.
He frowns. “No, No, No. Ana. No. You can. You do
give me what I need.” He clenches his fists. “Please
believe me,” he murmurs, his words an impassioned plea.
“I don’t know what to believe, Christian. This is so
fucked-up,” I whisper, my throat hoarse and aching as it
closes in, choking me with unshed tears.
His eyes are wide and luminous when he looks at me
again.
“Ana, believe me. After I punished you and you left
me, my worldview changed. I wasn’t joking when I said I
would a一void ever feeling like that again.” He gazes at me
with pained entreaty. “When you said you loved me, it was
a revelation. No one’s ever said it to me before, and it was
as if I’d laid something to rest—or maybe you’d laid it to
rest, I d
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