r life is
not done, Christian—how can you say that? You live every day with your past.
You told me yourself—Fifty Shades, remember?” My voice is barely audible.
Christian snorts and runs his free hand through his hair, though he remains
silent and tense beneath me.
“I know it’s why you feel the need to control me. Keep me safe.”
“And yet you choose to defy me,” he murmurs baffled, his hand stilling in my
hair.
I frown. Holy cow! Do I do that deliberately? My subconscious removes her
half-moon glasses and chews the end, pursing her lips and nodding. I ignore
her. This is confusing—I’m his wife, not his submissive, not some company
he’s acquired. I’m not the crack whore who was his mother . . . Fuck. The
thought is sickening. Dr. Flynn’s words come back to me:
“Just keep doing what you’re doing. Christian is head over heels . . . It’s a
delight to see.”
That’s it. I’m just doing what I’ve always done. Isn’t that what Christian found
attractive in the first place?
Oh, this man is so confusing.
“Dr. Flynn said I should give you the benefit of the doub一t. I think I do—I’m not
sure. Perhaps it’s my way of bringing you into the here and now—away from
your past,” I whisper. “I don’t know. I just can’t seem to get a handle on how
far you’ll overreact.”
He’s silent for a moment. “Fucking Flynn,” he mutters to himself.
“He said I should continue to beha一ve the way I’ve always beha一ved with you.”
“Did he now?” Christian says dryly.
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E L JAMES
Okay. Here goes nothing. “Christian, I know you loved your mom, and you
couldn’t sa一ve her. It wasn’t your job to do that. But I’m not her.”
He freezes again. “Don’t,” he whispers.
“No, listen. Please.” I raise my head to stare into gray eyes that are paralyzed
with fear. He’s holding his breath. Oh, Christian . . . my heart constricts. “I’m
not her. I’m much stronger than she was. I ha一ve you, and you’re so much
stronger now, and I know you love me. I love you, too,” I whisper.
His brow creases as if my words were not what he
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