expected. “Do you still
love me?” he asks.
“Of course I do. Christian, I will always love you. No matter what you do to
me.” Is this the reassurance he wants?
He exhales and closes his eyes, placing his arm over his face again, but
hugging me closer, too.
“Don’t hide from me.” Reaching up, I grasp his hand and pull his arm away
from his face. “You’ve spent your life hiding. Please don’t, not from me.”
He blinks down at me with incredulity and frowns. “Hiding?”
“Yes.”
He shifts suddenly, rolling over onto his side and moving me so that I am
lying beside him on the bed. He reaches up, smoothes my hair off my face
and tucks it behind my ear.
“You asked me earlier today if I hated you. I didn’t understand why, and now
—” He stops, staring down at me as if I’m a complete conundrum.
“You still think I hate you?” Now my voice is incredulous.
“No.” He shakes his head. “Not now.” He looks relieved. “But I need to know
—why did you safe word, Ana?”
I blanch. What can I tell him? That he frightened me. That I didn’t know if he’d
stop. That I begged him—and he didn’t stop. That I didn’t want things to
escalate . . . like—like that one time in here. I shudder as I recall him
whipping me with his belt.
I swallow. “Because . . . because you were so angry and distant and . . . cold.
I didn’t know how far you’d go.”
His expression is unreadable.
239 | P a g e
Fifty Shades Freed
“Were you going to let me come?” My voice is barely a whisper, and I feel a
blush steal over my cheeks, but I hold his gaze.
“No,” he says eventually.
Holy crap. “That’s . . . harsh.”
His knuckle gently grazes my cheek. “But effective,” he murmurs. He gazes
down at me as if he’s trying to see into my soul, his eyes darkening. After an
eternity, he murmurs, “I’m glad you did.”
Oh! “Really?” I don’t understand.
His lips twist in a sad smile. “Yes. I don’t want to hurt you. I got carried away.”
He reaches down and kisses me. “Lost in the moment.”
He kisses me again. “Happens a lot with you.”
Oh? And for some bi
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