It’s who I am. I surrendered it for a brief while.
Let someone make all my decisions for me. I couldn’t do it myself—I wasn’t
in a fit state. But through my submission to her, I found myself and found the
strength to take charge of my life . . . take control and make my own
decisions.”
“Become a Dom?”
“Yes.”
“Your decision?”
“Yes.”
“Dropping out of Harvard?”
“My decision, and it was the best decision I ever made. Until I met you.”
“Me?”
“Yes.” His lips quirk up in a soft smile. “The best decision I ever made was
marrying you.”
Oh my. “Not starting your company?”
He shakes his head.
“Not learning to fly?”
He shakes his head. “You,” he mouths. He caresses my cheek with his
knuckles. “She knew,” he whispers.
I frown. “She knew what?”
“That I was head over heels in love with you. She encouraged me to go down
to Georgia to see you, and I’m glad she did. She thought you’d freak out and
lea一ve. Which you did.”
I pale. I’d rather not think about that.
“She thought I needed all the trappings of the lifestyle I enjoyed.”
“The Dom?” I whisper.
He nods. “It enabled me to keep everyone at arm’s length, ga一ve me control,
and kept me detached, or so I thought. I’m sure you’ve worked out why,” he
adds softly.
“Your birth mom?”
“I didn’t want to be hurt again. And then you left me.” His words are barely
audible. “And I was a mess.”
Oh no.
470 | P a g e
E L JAMES
“I’ve a一voided intimacy for so long—I don’t know how to do this.”
“You’re doing fine,” I murmur. I trace his lips with my index finger. He purses
them into a kiss. You’re talking to me.
“Do you miss it?” I whisper.
“Miss it?”
“That lifestyle.”
“Yes, I do.”
Oh!
“But only insofar as I miss the control it brings. And frankly, your stupid
stunt”—he stops—“that sa一ved my sister,” he whispers, his words full of relief,
awe, and disbelief. “That’s how I know.”
“Know?”
“Really know that you love me.”
I frown. “What?”
“Because you risked so much . . . for me, for my family.”
My frown deepens. He reaches over and traces his finger ov
本章未完，点击下一页继续阅读。